I Shouldn’t Be Posting Today

I’m in a funk.  I don’t know how to get out.  I am still taking my happy pills, but they’re not working or something.  I have no idea.  I’ve been extra dirty stressed lately over things I can’t talk about here.  It’s making me paranoid.  I don’t like the sound of my phone anymore.  I hate getting out of bed in the morning.  I find myself wishing away the day.  It’s ugly.

So, in an effort to give myself new focus, I’m going to write a list.  This list will be things I don’t like about my life that I want to change.

1. Finances.  Don’t know what to do about them.  Have already tried everything.  Short of whoring myself out on the street corner, I don’t see a way out.

2. My job.  It’s less my job and more my chosen field.  Answer is simple.  Change careers.  It’s the doing that’s hard.

3. My body.  I’m fat.  100 pounds overweight.  Son said to me this weekend that he doesn’t want me to have a big belly because he doesn’t want people to think bad things about me.  Nothing like embarrassing your kid with your general presence.

4. My style.  I need a whole new wardrobe.  I don’t like clothes shopping, nor do I have the money for one right now, but none of it is me.  I’m faced with nothing but comfortable baggy clothes that hide my uncomfortable baggy body and I want something cute, sassy, and that screams that I do care how I look.  One step at a time, though.  I need to get a haircut, so that’s on the horizon.

5. My unpublished status.  The answer for that is to put ass in chair and do the writing.  Walk the walk.

Yeah, that’s pretty much all of it.  It’s not asking much is it, just revamp my body and career.  But it’s what I think I need to do to have a happy life.  And Rome wasn’t built in a day.  Nor are books written all at once.  So yeah, there will be a page at a time, a pound lost at a time, and resume writing and submission.  Something has to give, or it’s going to be me that gives.


7 Responses to “I Shouldn’t Be Posting Today”

  1. 1 kbestoliver
    October.6.2009 at 12:46 PM

    Hang in there. I’d give you advice but it’s so easy to give advice and I’d be telling you stuff you probably already know. I’ll just sit here and cheer for you.

  2. October.7.2009 at 1:01 PM

    Ditto what Kelli said.

  3. October.8.2009 at 10:37 AM

    I feel you, chica. This too shall pass.

  4. 5 Meredith
    October.8.2009 at 11:16 AM

    Okay – so I read this last night and tried to respond. Couldn’t come up with anything then. Decided to wait overnight and pray that something perfect came to my mind. Well – zilch! I think that Kelli had the right words. I can’t really come up with anything that is gonna change the funk, but I can cheer you through it 🙂 Find something small that is positive today to focus on!

  5. October.12.2009 at 3:50 AM

    I wish I had the words to make it better. I don’t. But I’m always good for a listen. Always.


  6. 7 cheeseheadwithsticks
    October.15.2009 at 10:52 AM

    Wait – are we twins? Save for the career change since that was just taken care of, and a loose interpretation of “unpublished” I have the exact same list!

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